Please HELP! I'm terrified the world will NOT end in December!?


@ first terrified of doomsday, came terms our inexorable destruction...trying make best out of bad thing, know? so, throwing fear of consequences wind, have quit job, run approximately $1,874,000 dollars on unsecured, high-interest credit cards, mortgaged home 4 times over, , committed additional, really, really-disgusting acts bound discovered authorities in next few weeks. of money fraudulently obtained has been spent on prostitutes , illicit drugs , snuff-films. have consumated terrible acts of revenge against enemies. had gender reassignment surgery, twice, experience lesbianism first-hand week or so. experimented cannibalism. i've been parking obnoxious new hummer in handicapped spaces, double-dipping potato chips @ parties, physically assaulting nuns , infants. in short, have done every possible tasteless or forbidden thing has momentarily occurred me, confident i'll have last laugh on 21st. now, see smarty-pants scientist types suggesting world not going end after all. thanks, jackasses. supposed now?

at first terrified of doomsday, came terms our inexorable destruction...trying make best out of bad thing, know? so, throwing fear of consequences wind, have quit job, run approximately $1,874,000 dollars on unsecured, high-interest credit cards, mortgaged my...


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