What do you think of this poem?


hey guys , i'm amateur writer , wrote poem recently...any suggestions/opinions?

wake , wake up...

wake , wake , i've been waiting ,
see ,
wake , wake , awake anew ,
, see mean me...

made me laugh , made me sing ,
without , saw no point livin'
made me sad , made me sore
still , me , meant whole lot more...

thought mine , way yours ,
ever mine , ever thine , ever ours ,
, sit , , in memory , write song ,
words don't seem come along...

broke heart , made me cry,
friendship? no, 'twas lie
, ,i'll admit , didn't know @ stake,
you'll have , @ mistake...

said you'd @ side , friend
tossed me aside , favouring changing trend
don't care , don't mind
so don't bother utter word in kind...

smile , made day,
looking , realize , in hands , clay
mold wish , please ,
please , beg , give me release...

keep looking in place you're supposed be,
yet eyes don't seem find wish see
still don't understand , 'cause vowed till end ,
ah! remember , never friend...

you've broken , heart , it'll never whole ,
you've left me writhing in pain , maimed soul
forever , yes , vowed till end
, nothing in world exists without end...

wake , wake , end here,
sit tearfully here,
may have lost hope , there come end pain ,
see sunshine when you've waited through rain...


guys , please comment , don't care if it's +ve or -ve criticism...

hey guys , i'm amateur writer , wrote poem recently...any suggestions/opinions? wake , wake up... wake , wake , i've been waiting , see , wake , wake , awake anew , , see mean me... made me laugh , made me sing ,...


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