Your opinions on my poem please? C/c?


thoughts? think about?
thanks! :)

wha' gwaan wata gyal?

swim if want to,
dip if want to,
swim day in waves if want to,
tidals adore you,
fins adorn too,
high in rise , new low too-
known deepness realness?
relax freeness,
on beach yes?
beach palm trees, fanned frawn leaf,
crowned drink queen coconunts , coral reef,
can sip on current?
residing currently?
hit off , sure this-
blue- aqua green scenes,
long hair in breeze elevating,
celebrating,
shells pastie-
must underwater thing,

float if want to,
boat if want to,
bronze day in rays if want to,
seen on shore view,
isle villa shore too,
pearls , whatever can afford too-
what's like? in water in coolness?
open out blueness,
isnt coolest?
bit sandy, modus operandi,
vanish on sun set in fancy,
splish in mansion?
splashing mysteries?
@ lost city of atlantis,
there room me?
paradise , me under sea,
thats be,
tropically,
switch , sing.

***since kind of made references beach , caribbean title in jamaican patois , means "whats water girl?"

your thoughts? think about? thanks! :) wha' gwaan wata gyal? swim if want to, dip if want to, swim day in waves if want to, tidals adore you, fins adorn too, high in rise , new low too- known deepness...


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